In my previous Shan Do Forever post I shared how I had been working on a very special art piece of Shannen Doherty and her Mama Rosa to gift to her at Fan Expo. To recap, I had been working on it for weeks and was in the process of sketching in Mama Rosa when I got the devastating news of Shannen’s passing. With that I stopped picking up my pencils as my heart was broken hearing that she had lost her battle, but also because I would never get the opportunity to gift it to her. I was not upset for my adult self but for my inner child that always dreamt of one day crossing paths with her and telling her what a bad ass she was to me.
Since her passing, I have been reminiscing a lot about all the ways I have admired Shannen and my intuition was telling me to finish the piece. It was devastating looking at it unfinished and on top of it working on it had started to be very therapeutic to me and my own journey. As someone who lost their mother to breast cancer I always wish I could share things with her, I wanted to give her something special that she could share with hers. A symbol of the unbreakable bond between a mother and daughter. Something that nothing, including cancer, could ever break. Something I myself am all too familiar with. I had hoped the heart and soul I put into making the art would transfer into a sense of joy and peace that would remind them both of the strength that emerges on the darkest of days because of the spark that is ignited from the love they both share.
So with that here is the finished piece. I have decided to call it Unbreakable. Not just because of the mother daughter bond but also because of Shannen’s strength to always endure.
The art piece was done in pencil and chalk pastels. I chose the brown background because to me it gives it that country girl Tennessee charm, reminds me of her love of horses, and it also gives the the art piece a sense of warmth. I considered pink for breast cancer awareness, but I didn’t want the piece to be just about her battle with cancer because, just like my Mom, cancer doesn’t define her as a person. What does define her are all the amazing qualities she shared with the world while she was here.
Maybe someway, somehow I can still get the art piece to Mama Rosa one day. Especially since my original plan was to gift it to Shannen so she could share it with her. I just have to trust my intuition that it was meant for me to finish this piece. Until then if Mama Rosa ever comes across this post I hope it brings a smile to her face knowing how much her daughter was loved by so many.
I never post unfinished artwork but my heart is broken at the news of Shannen Doherty’s passing.
I’ve been working on a very special art piece of Shannen for the last few weeks, so I could gift it to her in person at a Fan Expo next month. Ironically I got a lot more sketched out over the weekend but still have a lot more to get done on it. I was super excited for this con. I had my Brenda Walsh doll (that I keep displayed next to my Dylan doll in my art space) ready to have autographed and even designed a Team Brenda shirt that I had my printing partner make for me to wear and show her my support.
Then this morning I heard my husband call out to me with “Baby, go check Instagram, I think Shannen Doherty passed away”. My heart dropped. No it can’t be, but so it was. To say I am crushed would be an understatement. Not because I am a just another fangirl who has admired Shannen all these years, but because I really wanted to share a special moment with her. Be one more voice that told her they have always had her back all these years. Not just with her battle with cancer but her battle with all the haters as well. I admired her for her talents but also her strength and perseverance. She never gave up the fight. Wither it be backlash from cast members, media, trolls or the horrendous disease she was up again. She remained as resilient as she could and I loved her for that.
Originally I considered drawing her as Brenda Walsh with Luke Perry as Dylan McKay because I will forever be Team Brenda + Dylan! After growing up watching Shannen on Our House I was excited when I first heard she would be on the cast on Beverly Hills 90210 and because of her I tuned in. Growing up, I found myself relating to Brenda’s journey the most on the show. Navigating the complexities of life as a light eyed, pale, brunette girl from the Midwest who romanticized about using her talents to one day do something more in life always resonated with me. But the thing I think I admired most about Brenda was that she was unapologetic for being her true authentic self (hippie witch Twin Peaks style and all).
As years went by and I started to see Shannen’s name popping up in the headlines it never changed my admiration for her, in fact it only made me admire her even more. It was like all that fire I saw behind Brenda’s eyes was now Shannen shining through and pushing her to remember her worth. When they let Shannen go after season 4 I refused to watch it anymore. To me Brenda was what gave the show purpose and substance and Shannen was the reason I first wanted to watch the show to begin with. So I chose to follow her in her new roles instead, such as Charmed and anything I saw her starring in and I will never forget how ecstatic I was when Kevin Smith casted her in Mallrats! She was the reason I first watched the movie and have loved his movies ever since. I mean anyone smart and rebellious enough to cast Shannen when so many people were hating on her was bound to make some cool shit (and still does). I really admire him for seeing past all the BS and focusing on her and her acting talents. It wasn’t until I heard she was returning for the reunion show of BH90210 in memory of Luke, that I tuned in again and literally it was just to see her reprise her role. Ironically when I started to watch and discovered she was actually playing the role as Shannen, my adult self could not believe how much I still related to her.
One thing I was looking forward to sharing with her most was how the Beverly Hills 90210 episode “It’s Only A Test” aired in 1991 when I had lost my Mom to breast cancer. Just like Brenda’s Aunt, my Mom was also young (only 39) when she left this world and mine was never the same. That episode made me feel less alone as no one I knew at my young age was going through what I was going through. For a brief second I felt some normalcy. Many moons later when I found out about Shannen’s real life diagnosis I took to Instagram to let her know that she was not alone in her fight either. I was even inspired by her motivation when I discovered in her feed that she was using dance as a way to keep her body moving and her spirits up. So much so that after my multiple intestinal surgeries and health set backs I started to give it a try. It is now my outlet for “exercise” and gives me so much joy.
My whole vision for the art piece I wanted to do for her changed once I discovered that Shannen recently downsized her home in Tennessee in order to make things easier for her Mama Rosa incase anything should ever happen to her. She was not giving up the fight but just taking proactive steps and looking out for her. Her posts about her Mama Rosa being by her side during her hardest cancer moments was something that always hit me to my very core. As someone who was in the reverse role and can no longer share things with their Mom, I had this overwhelming intuition to put my original idea on the back burner and decided to focus on drawing something that she could share with hers. My inner child was telling me, If you have this one opportunity with her, make it count. So I switched gears and started the portrait you see here….
I am really sad I will never get to tell and show her what an impact she had on me or gift her this special portrait I have been putting my heart and soul into. My intentions were definitely there, but it looks like the universe had other plans. As much as I and other fans are hurting right now, my thoughts and positive manifestations of healing go out to her family and close friends. If it hurts this bad for us to lose someone we grew up admiring so much, I can only imagine how someone who actually had the blessing of knowing her must be feeling right now.
So with that I would just like to end this by saying thank you to Shannen for being so unapologetically Shan Do and showing the world what it means to be authentic and fierce. Like the words Dylan told Brenda when they first crossed paths you will always be “incandescent” in my eyes. Shine brightly in the stardust with Luke for us! 💕
